Probably seems strange to most, but when you don't have much to remember about your child... you grab onto whatever you can.
Guess I'll always have a soft spot for that book, let's hope the movie doesn't let me down, I heard it's amazing.
After linking the word "child" to our story... it dawned on me that maybe I shouldn't use that word. But I want to. Joel wouldn't like it, probably some family members too, but it's what I choose to believe. Most want to forget... pretend it didn't happen, but I can't do that. I won't do that. I'm not trying to be depressing, just trying to be real. It's still hard to call what some only consider an "ectopic pregnancy" a child... like I'm putting more effort and emotion into something I shouldn't. Least that's how people make me feel. Some correct me... they fucking correct me...
Okay this is getting way too depressing, it was suppose to be a happy post... here, smile :)
Off to go to snuggle in bed and watch (a hopefully) amazing movie :)
_________________________________
-a list of little things we should appreciate
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
-Robert Brault
Photo: http://pinterest.com/pin/266767977897088833/
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteyour feelings are yours. always. and if someone tells you otherwise, or tells you "not to feel" a certain way, they're wrong.
ReplyDeleteand ps, sometimes "real" is depressing, and that'd okay too. as long as we don't hang low in that depressing spot for too long and see the bright part of what being real is also about :) gah, now i feel like i'm just rambling...
ReplyDelete*that's
ReplyDeletehaha, i'm going to bed; i'm clearly too tired to put together a coherent thought. enjoy your movie!
It doesn't matter what they think. The fact that you still hurt and are sentimental shows how pure your heart is. You allowed yourself to love and felt the pain of losing the child. Who can really criticize such a pure emotion as love? Remembering keeps them alive, long after they are gone. Thinking of you and baby #2 tonight Liv. I hope you enjoy the movie and it warms your heart at the memories it brings you. Always here if you need to talk.
ReplyDeleteAllison and Meredith, thank you so much for the kind words and support... tonight I am full of emotions but not so good at putting words to them, so just know I'm so grateful.
ReplyDelete